if anybody's keeping up with this (other than you, Sissy), i mixed up the sequence of events because my memory is horrendous. it's fixed now, so i'm just putting everything from the beginning to the latest installment here for your viewing pleasure.

He sits next to me at the smoker’s table and asks for a light.

I smile and hand him my lighter. I’ve seen him before, but those times he’d smoked a pipe. He lights his cigarette and returns my lighter. He chats with me, because that’s what the smoker’s table is for. He’s witty and charming. My first thought is that he looks like a younger, hotter Dr. House. (If he takes off his glasses and glares, the resemblance is even more striking.)

He’s easy to talk to. I’ve been in a near constant state of emotional turmoil for a while, which might be why I straight up tell him that I would sleep with him. The boy whose lap I’m sitting on joins the conversation for the first time, saying “I would sleep with you too.” I shake my head and laugh, looking back at the man next to me.

What I don’t know is that he’s staring at the boy holding on to me, and his only thought is “You don’t deserve her.”

***

It’s the night before an important day.

Tomorrow Texas Tech plays against UT, and the Goin’ Band has an epic show to perform at halftime. I have an early morning rehearsal, so I should go to bed. Instead I go to the smoker’s table. The boy who used to hold me isn’t here. He wants forever, and I’m not interested. I’ve had too many forevers fall flat to care for another.

A different man catches my eye tonight. We’ve hung out enough that I call him Vic instead of House, but tonight he looks the part. He wears a blazer and is even walking with a cane (the bitchin’ cane from season 3, with the flames). He’s a fangirl’s fantasy come true. I can just tell that tonight’s gonna be a good night.

Sure enough, we end up upstairs, clothes strewn about (except the blazer, which is hung carefully on the back of a chair), and I’m awake even later than I originally planned. We agree that this should happen more often. He points out that he doesn’t want anything serious, and I whole heartedly agree. He doesn’t spend the night, which suits me just fine.

The thought of getting to have lots of uncomplicated sex makes me smile as I fall asleep.

***

He tells me he’s in an open relationship.

The term he uses is “quasi engaged”. She’s a Marine, and she’s currently stationed in Hawaii. Their arrangement is simple. When they see each other, they’re together. When they’re apart, they’re pretty much free to do whatever (or whomever, as the case may be) they want. It’s an interesting arrangement, one I don’t think I could manage, but if it works for them, it’s pretty cool.

Since he and I have no intentions of getting serious, and I have no plans to try and steal him away from her or anything, I see no problems.

***

Another Christmas, another Bowl game, another semester at Tech begins. I’m glad to be back.

I’ve missed the new friends I made in the fall. Vic tells me about a girl he fooled around with. I laugh when he tells me her name, because she’s my ex roommate. He says that she’s batshit crazy, and he wants no more to do with her, despite her advances. I smile when he tells me he’s considered asking me to be his girlfriend to get her off his back. He doesn’t yet, so the situation can’t be too desperate yet.

I’m excited when Claire makes plans to go out to the club. I invite Vic to join us. He’s told me before he can dance to Spanish music, but is hopeless when it comes to club dancing. I promise to teach him.

He looks handsome in a blazer when we meet up in the lobby. We’re walking to the parking lot when he tells me that he’s been seriously considering asking me to be his girlfriend. I laugh and tell him to let me know when he decides if he’s going to.

We arrive at the club, and he looks scandalized when Claire tells us that my ex roomie (aka Vic’s current stalker) is coming with two of her friends. He turns to me, and with no ado whatsoever, announces,

“We’re dating.”

I laugh and agree.

We’re having a smoke when the three girls show up. I’m smiling as I introduce him to the two who don’t already know him, and I feel a burst of pure, girlish, slightly catty pleasure as my old roommate’s smile falters when I call him my boyfriend.

***

We’ve been calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend for about two months. We’re at a party at Casidi’s house, and I’m getting drunk for the first time.

Vic smiles each time I go for a refill. He’s already lost to the alcohol, partly because of his love of it, and partly from teaching our friends to play our favorite drinking game. As the party winds down, Cas tells us we can have her bedroom tonight. I’m laughing as I help Vic stumble to the bed, onto which he promptly collapses.

“Shorty,” he calls, and I look down at him expectantly. “Take my boots off!”

I laugh again as I do so. He tells me he’s going to throw up, so I get him into the bathroom. I’m surprised that I’m able to stand next to him and support him while he vomits without retching myself. Once his mouth is clean, I take him back to the bed.

I expect him to immediately pass the hell out, but I’m mistaken. Despite me being drunk and him being fucked up seven ways from Sunday, we’re having a great round of sex.

In the middle of it, we’re suddenly having a serious conversation.

He tells me I’m the best girlfriend he could’ve found, and asks me why I’m with him. I tell him I enjoy his company, that he makes me laugh. He seems to accept that answer, and we finish what we started.

I fall asleep with his arms around me.

***

Sam and I fight because I got drunk.

He tells me he’s disgusted.

In a moment of catty anger, I post the conversation on Facebook. I stop talking to him for now, figuring he’ll get over it and not wanting to deal with this drama right now. Besides, it’s Krista’s birthday, and there’s another party to attend.

We’re up in Vic’s room, playing Mau and getting tipsy. Vic’s on his computer, talking to Sis, who’s apparently talking to Sam.

He’s bitching about me, and Sis tells Vic about it, and Vic starts getting angry. This little boy who’s been one of my best friends for over a year is saying that I’m going down the wrong path. When Sis says, “It’s not like she’s addicted to heroin or anything,” he says he wouldn’t be surprised if that happened. Vic decides that now’s a good time for a smoke, so we all head down to the patio. Krista decides she wants a word with Sam.

She heads towards his dorm, with me, Carrie, Carmen, and Melinda in tow. Vic and Adam stay behind with Tish. As Krista bangs on Sam’s door, the four of us behind her adopt identical bodyguard stances. We laugh for a moment before the door opens and we’re serious again. As Krista begins her tirade, I slip past Sam and sit at his computer to bring Sis up to speed. I smile as Krista defends me. Sam pushes too far, and I get a shock when she punches him in the face. The five of us head back out to the patio, leaving Sam to nurse his bruise. Vic’s mad when we tell him what happened. He feels that he should’ve been the one to do the punching. I smile when I tell him that I don’t want to have to bail him out of jail tonight.

We’re having another smoke when Sis calls me. She says that Sam is still talking about me. He says that I’m a whore and I’ll likely flunk out of college. She asks him why he doesn’t come outside and say that to our faces (mostly meaning he should say it to Vic, which Sam knows full well is what she means). He tells her that Vic won’t mind that he called me a whore, because if I wasn’t, Vic and I wouldn’t be dating. I make the mistake of saying this part out loud.

I see Vic’s anger transcend speech.

Spotting the danger, Tish blocks his path to Sam’s dorm (which he thankfully doesn’t have the right ID to enter in any case), and Adam leaps on his back. I hold my phone to his ear so Sis can help us calm him down. Finally we succeed. We head back upstairs to drink more and tend to Krista’s hand, which she injured on Sam’s face.

As we pile into the elevator, I’m thinking of Vic’s rage, and wondering at how protective of me he is.

***

I stay up all night waiting for him to come back from Spring Break.

I get butterflies in my stomach when I remember him saying he missed my company when he was back home. I watch movies with Adam to pass the time. They finally arrive at 8am Monday morning (Krista never was good at getting anywhere on time). I help Vic carry his stuff upstairs, wondering if he’s too tired for reunion sex.

I should know better by now.

We miss our morning classes, far too busy tearing each other’s clothes off and promptly passing out once the sex is done.

***

It’s an uneventful night in most aspects.

We’re having a smoke when he gets a phone call from the Marine. I think about going up to my room. I know she can’t call often, so this might take a while. But I’ve spent so many nights in his room, my own feels cold and lonely. I end up in his room, lying in the opposite bed, listening to him talking to the woman who must hold his heart, and I feel the first stirrings of jealousy in my own.

I text a friend, feeling the need to confess it to someone. Vic gets off the phone and comes to try and steal mine. He says he wants to read my texts since I listened to his conversation. He sits on top of me as we playfully wrestle with my phone. I laugh as I tell him I wasn’t paying attention, so he has no claim to read my texts.

He doesn’t get the phone, and I hide a sigh of relief. The last thing I want to tell him is that I might be falling for him when I promised that I wouldn’t.

***

Her name is Erin.

She's a friend of Vic's from high school (so she calls him James, which sounds so strange to me). He confesses to me that she was his high school crush. When I meet her I can see why.

She's beautiful, funny, and though she's no bigger than me, she can drink him under the table. I envy her almost immediately. She's a vocal major at LCU, and she certainly has a wonderful voice. I find cause to wonder how he can be attracted to her when she says she's afraid of knives (Vic always has a knife on him) and guns (she won't even touch his airsoft pistol). He tells me that I should make out with her. I do, and it's nice. He asks my permission to kiss her too, and I grant it. While I pretend it doesn't bother me, it does. I'm upset when she spends the night with us on our last night in the dorms.

She comes with us to Casidi's and has a panic attack when we watch Pathology (which, honestly, isn't that scary of a movie). Once more I find myself thinking "She and Vic would never work". She drives us to Mike and Bettie's house to drop me off with my family. I hug Vic outside the car.

"It's been fun," he tells me, and I smile, agreeing with him.

They drive off and I go inside, starting to cry a little bit. Lubbock feels more like home than Angleton now, and I don't want to leave. I tell myself it's a good thing. I feel more for this man than I should, and I know nothing good will come of it.

***

Sis and her hubby want to do a wedding replay. We call up a couple of friends and head out for Austin. We're staying at Jenny's house, where Vic is house sitting.

I'm more excited than I should be when I see him again, but he seems happy to see me too, so I don't worry too much. We order pizza and have drinks. We're outside, smoking, talking, laughing, when Erin comes up in the conversation. With the alcohol buzzing pleasantly in my system, I lean towards Sis and tell her,

"She's like me, only more awesome."

I'm speechless when Vic straightens up, looks at me, and says,

"That's bullshit."

***

I’m at a friend’s house when Vic calls me (a rare occurrence). He tells me he wants to join the Navy.

I listen as he excitedly shares the details, when he suddenly stops and asks, “You hate this idea, don’t you?”

In my head, I curse. He’s very observant, and my silence must speak volumes. I warn him that it’s sentimental, and that if he goes of to the Navy, I’ll miss him. He responds with the usual sarcasm, but says he’ll miss me too. I let out a sigh when we get off the phone. He isn’t even mine to lose, but I fear that that is exactly what’s happening.

***

Sis calls me after church to tell me she's talked to Vic. The Marine left him.

Seems she's found a man in Hawaii she wants more than Vic. I'm in shock. The Marine was a major part of my reasoning for quashing my growing feelings for Vic. Now, suddenly, she's out of the picture. When I speak to him, I know better than to ask if he's okay. He tells me he had his night of drunken self pity, and now he can carry on.

We don't mention it again.

I'm left wondering what this turn of events will mean for me.

***

I find myself making a solo trip to Austin. Vic's been telling me I need to visit, and my 40 hours a week of slave labor is enough to fund a trip.

I meet his family on Friday, smile when I watch him play with his dogs (2 great danes taller than him on their hind legs). I've let him make all the plans; I'm just here for the ride. Tonight we're meeting up with Donny. None of the planned shenanigans worry me, until they tell me we're climbing onto a roof. After a lot of nail biting on my part, I mange to climb up with a little help and a lot of encouragement. Up on the roof, Vic pulls me close and tells me he's proud of me for overcoming my fear.

Saturday I get us a hotel room. Our friends come over and we teach them to play Mau, and they teach me King's Cup (the games are almost identical, and each lead to hilarity). We go from drinking inside to stumbling outside to smoke several times before I tell Vic I want us to spend the night alone. When they sober up enough to drive, our friends say their goodbyes.

Before we fall asleep, Vic sets an alarm, grumbling as he does so. He's mad that his father told him to be home early Sunday morning to help with yard work. "It's not like she drove 4 hours to spend time with me or anything," he mutters. I sympathize, but inside I'm smiling. I'm not sure if he's mad that we're losing time together because his feelings for me are deeper than he originally planned, but a girl can dream.

***

I’m back in Austin, this time to join the Sick Boys at a biker rally. I meet the Prez, Hound, and the Sergeant at Arms, Breaker. The first thing Hound tells me is that I need to convince Vic (or Kid, as I need to learn to call him for the rally) not to join the Navy. I don’t mention out loud that I wish I had the power to do so.

They teach me how to be an ol’ lady, and to hear them describe it, it must be rocket science. But it comes easily (most of it is common sense), and at the rally, other clubs (Banditos included) make comments on what a good ol’ lady I make. We have a great time. The partying lasts long into the night. Kid and I end up in the tent, and I’m surprisingly unembarrassed to know that the others are still awake and can probably hear us having sex (especially when he makes his famous wookie noise in the middle of it).

I call my boss to let him know I won’t be at work Sunday night, and I spend as much time as possible with the Sick Boys. Despite the short time it’s been, I already love them, and I know I’ll be back as soon as possible to see them again.

October 8, 2010

we're out for a night of karaoke and drunken shenanigans. i've sang my song, i'm pleasantly drunk, i've made out with the hot chick i danced with. we're waiting for our ride, having a last drink over by the bar. he's in his kilt (of course). i have a ring that i wear on my left ring finger. he takes it away from me, holds it up, and says "You have never seen this ring in your life!" i laugh and respond, "...okay..." perhaps i'm too drunk to fully grasp what he asks me next, but it sinks in that the words he speaks are "Will you marry me?" when it hits me, i (of course) reply with an affirmative, and he puts the ring back on my finger. every so often on the way back to the apartment, i lean into him and whisper "You proposed to me," followed by a kiss. before bed, he kisses me and calls me "[his] beautiful fiancee". that's how he introduces me for the rest of my stay. it's even Facebook official. our families both know and approve.

i'm engaged to Victor Torrico. i'm ridiculously happy.

***

sidenote:

can someone tell me how to insert accent marks? cuz there should be one in "fiancee" but Firefox doesn't give me the fix it option like Word does

/sidenote

after weeks of convincing him which airline to use, it's finally happened.

he bought me a ticket to San Diego.

i will be spending 19 days in San Diego with Victor.

it needs to be next Friday right now.